Neverland? Really? Great
by karmakid523
Summary: Kat and Kayla wind up in Neverland of all places. Kayla's kidnapped by a very attractive Hook and Kat's stuck with an arrogant Peter Pan. Will they find love? Will they perish? Will they eat waffles and sing "I'm a Little Teapot"? Read and you'll find out
1. Chapter 1: What Door's In a Tree?

Karma: I'm so happy to finally publish a fic. Here's to me!

Kuro: Here's to US. This fic was a joint story, and we aren't even done yet.

Karma: I know, but-

Kuro: No buts. Now, say it.

Karma: I don't wanna!

Kuro: Karma. Say it.

Karma: Fine, Peter Pan, James Hook, and all that crap doesn't belong to me.

Kuro: And?

Karma: And I jacked the trees idea from Tim Burton.

Kuro: And?

Karma: And thanks for reading!

Kuro: We'll see you after this chapter!

Both: BYE!

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><p>18 year old Kat and 17 year old Kayla were the best of friends, even thought they had nothing in common. Kat liked Sonic and most violent video games; Kayla liked Guitar Hero and Rock Band and could barely play anything else. Kat liked the Twilight Saga; Kayla hated it with a passion. Kat was an avid guitar player and liked to sing in front of people, and Kayla was a violinist who didn't want people to hear her voice at all. They were even different in appearance. Kat was tall and lean, with lower-back length straight blond hair and blue-grey eyes. Kayla was short (or fun-sized, as she prefers to be called) and curvy, with curly brown-black hair that went down to a little below her lower back and dark brown eyes that she hid behind glasses (Kat used to wear glasses as well, but around the time she was 17, decided that contacts looked better and, much to Kayla's objections, got them). Another thing about the two of them was that Kat was a bit darker than Kayla, who only wanted to see the light in everyone and everything. Not to say that Kat was emo or goth, she was just a little less perky than Kayla, who was okay with that, since Kat was the one who was always ready with an idea(albeit, not always a smart one, but without a doubt, a fun one) and she was the happy one. She also was perfectly fine knowing she was the one with the most common sense (both girls were of pretty much equal intelligence, but Kat was more likely to use the creativity that came with her brains, while Kayla preferred to use the side that was made up of mostly common sense, but didn't always listen to the little common sense she had.). The one thing they had in common was that they both had tempers and were stubborn as hell (although Kat was the most stubborn and Kayla's temper was the fieriest, fiercest, and the most terrifying.).<p>

"Come on, Kayla! The clouds are whiter over there!" Kat yelled to Kayla as the rain began to fall upon Central Park.

Kayla shook her head at her friend and adjusted her messenger bag on her shoulder, tugging her long hair into a ponytail. She sped up slightly. Kat's blond hair was flying behind her as she started to run even faster. She looked back, and seeing how red Kayla was, slowly began to stop running. As Kayla caught up, Kat looked around at the tall trees they had gotten lost in and got the spyglass Kayla had given her for Christmas out of her backpack. They couldn't even see the houses around the park or hear the street that lead into it. Where were they? Kat had explored the park before and had never seen this part of the park.

"Kayla, have you seen this place before?"

"No, I've never-wait, are you saying you don't know where we are?"

"Sorry, but I have no idea," Kat said as she looked around. She hadn't even noticed the incredulous expression on Kayla's face.

Kayla sighed as she shook her head at her best friend. "Honestly, why did I let you lead? I knew something would happen, I just knew it! I told myself you wouldn't get us lost again and look what happens! We get lost yet again! That's it, you are never going to lead again!" she ranted to herself as she started to walk in circles looking for the path they had just gone down.

"Hm, what are we going to do now?" Kat said out loud. Kayla stopped her ranting and walked back over to Kat.

"I guess we should start shouting for help. Pretty soon too, since it's starting to get a little dark and who knows what's in this place," she said as she zipped up her black hoodie that she'd carried with her since she first got it in the 6th grade. Kat shivered in her thin jacket and looked around slowly, fully taking in her surroundings, when she spied an odd formation of trees. They looked to be in a circle, like in the Nightmare Before Christmas. Maybe they had pictures on them too.  
>"Kayla, what do you suppose those are?" she asked her nervous companion as she pointed to the trees. Kayla looked over.<br>"They look like trees, Kat"  
>"I know they're trees, but why are they in a circle?"<br>Kayla shrugged. "It's not unusual for trees to grow in a circle."  
>"In a perfect circle?" Kayla was silent. "Let's go check it out!"<br>Kat grabbed her reluctant friend's hand and dragged her over to the trees, not paying attention to the fact that Kayla was barely stumbling along, as the only thing on her mind was the strange trees. The trees came closer in their sights. Now that Kayla could properly see the trees and their circle, she was getting even more unnerved. It didn't seem at all right to her. She pushed her glasses further up her nose with her free hand.

"Kat, don't those trees seem a little creepy to you? Are you sure you want to get any closer?"

"Of course! We've come this far, we may as well finish what we started."

Kayla wasn't very sure about it, but Kat had a valid point. "All right, but if I get killed, I'm coming back to haunt your stupid ass for getting me killed."

Kat laughed. "Whatever works. Come on, we're almost there." They started running once more and were there before they knew it.

The trees were indeed in a perfect circle, but that wasn't what was making Kayla even more (if possible) nervous and Kat even more (if possible) excited. The seven trees each had a door in a different shape. The first door was a hat with pins and a feather in it, while the second was a flag, the Jolly Roger by the look of it. The third was a huge pair of scissors with black handles and silver blades. The fourth was an X made of a large green, silver, and blue feather and a silver sword with a gold and jewel-encrusted handle. The fifth was a large newspaper, which try as they may, neither girl could read and the sixth was a hat, which oddly looked like it had a face. Lastly, the seventh door looked like a bat, the animal, not the baseball kind. All the doors were painted beautifully with a mat below each door, all with a different scene, the first looking like a dark forest, the second bore a likeness to a captain's cabin on a ship, the third looking like an attic, the fourth looked like the top of a large tree house, the fifth looked like a room full of bunk beds, the sixth looked like a big room with long tables and hundreds of people, mostly kids, and the seventh looked like a dark cave. What was off about the mats was that the scenes all looked like they were moving, which both girls neglected to notice.

"Kayla, they're doors, look, they all have handles."

Kayla ran a hand through her hair. "Yeah, I noticed. Let me guess, you want to go through one," she rather stated than asked. Kat nodded vigorously. The younger girl sighed deeply. "Ok, fine, but choose wisely. God knows what's behind it." While Kat looked around, the brunette's gaze was caught by the door with the bejeweled sword and the blue, green, and silver feather. "OOH! That one looks pretty! Pick that one!"

Kat tilted her head. "I don't know. Now that I think about it, maybe this isn't such a good idea."

The brunette scoffed and tugged on her hand. "You're the one always saying that we need to be more adventurous. Now get through that damn door and let's get this show on the road."

Kat reluctantly pulled open the door and stepped through, the door slamming shut the second her whole body was inside. "Kayla!" she screamed, banging on the door.

"Dammit Kat, you broke the tree!" came Kayla's muffled reply.

"NO I DIDN'T!"

"WELL IT OBVIOUSLY LIKES EATING KAT FOR LUNCH!"

"Ok, that was the dumbest thing I've ever heard."

"Do you want to criticize me or get out of the tree?"

"…..you're right, get me out."

"Thank you."

Kat leaned against the back of the tree and sighed. Suddenly, the bark gave way and she found herself inside a tree house…or at least what looked to be a tree house. "Oh no...what has that girl gotten us into now?"

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><p>Karma: Ok, first chapter down, God knows how many to go. Sorry if the characters seem Mary-Sueish. Feel free to tell me your thoughts. Review if you please, but don't be a flamer. Come on, don't be a butt muscle. I'll give you a virtual waffle if you review nicely!<p>

Kuro: Karma! Don't bribe the readers!

Karma: But Kuro-

Kuro: No. Now, please review. We love you!

Both: BYE!


	2. Chapter 2: I Hate You So Much Right Now

Karma: Ok, Chapter Numero Dos! Let's do this! Sorry I took so long, I was just waiting for reviews when _someone_ *cough Kuro cough* yelled at me and told me to finish. So, here ya go!

Kuro: Wait, Karma, you have to say it!

Karma: Fine, nothing is mine, except Kat and Kayla of course.

Kuro: On with the show!

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><p>Kat stood to her feet, glancing around. "Um, hello? Anyone there?" she called out. Sighing, Kat slouched. "Out of all the outfits for me to be stuck out here in, I have to be in my Griffindor outfit." Without warning, a sharp dagger was placed against her throat and she was pulled by a strong, tanned arm towards a firm chest, just barely keeping her balance on her borrowed heels.<p>

"Who are you and how did you find my hideout?" a male voice whispered into her ear.

Kat quickly overcame her shock and frowned, irritated by her situation. "You _could_ be polite and introduce yourself before you kill me. Now let me go and we can talk this out like civilized human beings."

The person holding her tightened his grip on her waist, pressing the knife harder into her skin. "I asked you a question."

"Well, first of all, you asked me two. Second, I answered you. Let me go, and I'll tell you who I am.

"Not a chance."

The blonde grunted impatiently. "Then you have two choices. You can either kill me or you can wind up on the floor, holding your family jewels in immense pain as I run off. Either way, you won't know who I am."

Hesitantly, the man loosened his hold and lowered the blade. Kat twisted out of his grip and turned to examine her attacker. She was shocked to see that he was rather young, about Kayla's age, if not a little younger. He wore a suit made of leaves that covered what needed to be covered and part of his tan, lean chest. His sun-streaked red hair fell in front of dazzling green eyes, eyes that were several inches higher than hers. Kat had never met a boy their age who was taller than she, so she was amazed by his height.

Looking into his eyes, the blue-eyed young woman silently thanked God that her best friend wasn't there. Kayla was a renowned flirt, who loved redheads and green eyes, so she would've set to work before Kat would have even noticed he was there. She rolled her eyes at the thought of the petite brunette twirling her hair and batting her big brown eyes, hooking him and making him fall hard for her the second he looked into them. As she giggled quietly, she suddenly remembered where she was...and who wasn't with her.

"Oh God, Kayla!" she cried, rushing back to the tree. Kat began to grope the tree, searching for a knot, a doorknob, _anything_, when she felt eyes studying her. Turning her head, she saw the strange boy watching her. "Oh, hi. Sorry, I forgot you were there. What's your name?"

He looked at her suspiciously for a few seconds, then grinned arrogantly. "I'm Peter, Peter Pa-"

"That's nice, now can you help me get through this? There was a door here, and now it appears to be gone."  
>As her hands roamed the trunk, Peter studied her. Sensing his eyes still on her, she turned back to him. "Well, can you help me or not?"<p>

Peter shook himself out of his little world and flew over to her. Wait, flew?

Kat looked at his feet and realized that, unlike before, they weren't touching the floor. "What did you say your name was?"

"Peter Pan."

"Oh, ok. Peter?"

"Yes?"

"Don't let my skirt fly over my head, ok?" With that, she fainted, her head slamming against the wood. Peter gently picked her up and flew to his room, careful not to drop her.

_'Hmm, I wonder what's wrong with her. She seemed fine yesterday. And why's she so...different?'_ he thought as he lay her on his bed. Chuckling softly as she curled into the furs like a small child, he ducked out of the room. _'I guess I'll find out when she wakes up. Better go find the boys and tell them she's back...well, kind of.'_

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><p>Karma: Ok, two down, God knows how many more. Well, something's going on with Mr. Pan and this weird blonde chick. Wonder what'll happen? And where's Kayla? Don't worry, she'll be in the next one, I promise!<p>

Kuro: Yeah, you better. You said she was funny!

Karma: I said she's clumsy!

Kuro: Same diff. Anyway, review please if you want me to keep forcing her to update!

Karma: Now who's being threatening?

Kuro: Oh, shut up.

Both: BYE!


	3. Chapter 3: Touch Me, I Rip Your Arms Off

Karma: Hey guys, sorry, I took so long. Between school and Christmas and idiots involved in my life, I haven't had much time to write. Hopefully this makes up for it.

Kuro: We don't own anything but Kat and Kayla. Oh, and I stole the 'hello poppet' from POTC. I just love how it sounds.

Karma: Yeah, yeah, anyway, here it goes!

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><p>Meanwhile, back in the forest, Kayla was freaking out. "Jesus, Kat! Why aren't you answering me?"<p>

Silence.

"I'm afraid of little turtles."

Nothing.

"My mom terrifies me."

Zip.

"I got kicked out of Puerto Rico last year for yelling at a pig."

Zilch.

"A penguin bit me at your party last month."

Nada.

"I have, like, 12 leftover Star Wars cookies from Alice's party last night."

Zero.

"Ok, that's it. Tree, feel my Kayla smite!" She charged at the door, when it opened and she fell in. She banged on the door for almost an hour before collapsing to the floor. Pulling her knees up under her chin, she sighed. "I guess I'm going to be stuck here for a while." Kayla leaned on the back of the tree when the bark gave way and she fell through. "AUGH!"

"Well well, what have we here? A little doll for the boys to play with?" came husky, male voice.

Kayla looked up against her better judgement and found herself in front of dozens of men, each one nastier than the other. "Um, hi?"

"Hello, poppet," said the man who spoke earlier. She looked at him and recoiled. He was tall, over 6'7, and tan, with gross, rotting teeth and one glassy eye. In various places over his grime covered body, she could see scars and tattoos. Reaching one dirty hand towards her, he grinned. "Come here, let old Tobias show you a good time."

Kayla stood to her feet and stuck out her chin in defiance. "I demand you take me to your captain."

The man laughed. "And how do you know I'm not the captain?"

"Because most captains aren't bloody eunuchs."

"Why you little-" The pirate slammed the back of his back against Kayla's cheek, knocking her to the ground and blurring her vision for a few seconds. As he began to loosen his shorts, a young man's voice rose through the whoops and hollers, causing an eerie silence.

"Bo'sun, what is going on here?"

The pirate looked towards the voice, fear spreading on his expression. "Nothing, sir."

"Nothing? It most certainly does not look like nothing. Are you lying to me?"

"No, sir."

"Are you sure? This is your last chance, Mr. Andrew., so choose yours words wisely. What is going on over here?" Finally the man who the voice belonged to came into view.

He was fairly tall, around 6'2, with long, raven black curls, and was a bit older than Kayla, possibly 18 or 19. He sounded British, but not like the Brits back home. He sounded more refined, more educated. Everything about him screamed regalia and sophistication.

His gaze flickered as he noticed her on the ground, her knees brought up to her chest and her hair covering her face. "Hmph. It seems to me that this young woman was about to be taken advantage of. Rape is not 'nothing', Mr. Andrew. In fact, I believe that any attempt at rape is a major offense, especially on my ship. You have two choices. You may either jump overboard and swim for your life or stay here and plead for your life."

Mr. Andrew opened his mouth, only to be interrupted by a gunshot. He staggered back and crumpled to the ground, his face frozen forever in shock.

"Too slow." The man handed his gun to a nearby crew-member and motioned to the body. "Someone take care of this. Mr. David! Congratulations, you've been promoted."

"Thank you, Captain," a thin, youngish blond pirate said.

The captain moved to study the girl, and upon seeing she was still alive and breathing, scooped her up in his arms, holding her tightly against his chest. As he began to walk to his cabin, he turned one last time to the crew. "Tell Mr. Smee to report to my cabin with anything and everything needed for medicinal purposes. No one else is to disturb me. He who does shall share Mr. Andrew's unfortunate fate." He kicked open the door and strode inside, allowing it to slam behind him. Laying Kayla gently onto his large bed, he sat beside her, moved her dark hair out of her face, and stroked her cheek. "Are you alright?" he asked quietly.

Kayla kept her eyes squeezed shut. "If you're going to o it, do it fast," she mumbled. "I don't like pain too much and I can barely feel my legs as it is."

The captain chuckled. "My dear, if I had any intention of hurting you, I would have either allowed Mr. Andrew to finish the job or done it already. As neither has happened yet, would you please open your eyes and tell me your name?"

The frightened young woman pried open her eyes, which widened in shock as she found herself staring into eyes as blue as forget-me-nots. _'It's a good thing Kat's not here. She would've killed him by now simply by being this close.'_

Likewise, the young man froze as he gazed into her red-brown eyes. They were full of life, of feeling, and of tears.

"Why are you crying?"

Kayla shook herself out of her stupor and sat up, placing a hand on her hip. "I was almost raped. Do you honestly think I'd be jumping for joy right now?"

He stood to his feet. "I just saved your life and this is how you repay me? By being a feisty and sarcastic wench?"

Kayla smirked. "Just another service I offer. And another thing, who you calling wench? I'm a _woman_, the most real woman you'll ever meet, unlike those fake prostitutes who you stick it in."

His eyes flashed red. "At least they're of average height. What are you, pixie?"

Her eyes flashed red as well as she stood, glaring up at him. "At least I can control my temper, unlike you who kills without a second thought!"

"Are you insulting me?"

"No duh!"

"How dare you!"

"How dare I? How dare _you_!"

By now the two were toe to toe, closer than they should have been comfortable with, but when you're that angry, who can tell?

All of a sudden, an older man burst into the room, a large bowl in his arms. "I BROUGHT THE MEDICAL STUFF!" he cried, a great silly grin on his wrinkled face. Noticing the two's closeness and the tension in the air, his smile slipped away. "Am I interrupting something?"

"NO!" they both screamed in unison. "NOW STAY OUT OF IT!"

The man approached them, seeming to only see Kayla's face. "Wow miss, that's a right nasty bruise you've got there."

Kayla snapped out of her angry haze and looked at the man. "What bruise?" Glancing at her reflection in a nearby mirror, she gasped. Most of her left cheek was covered in a deep purple. "Oh my God, Kat's going to kill me."

"Cat? Your cat is going to kill you?" asked the man.

"What? No, I hate cats," she said absently. "Kat's my best friend. We've been stuck together for years...wait...OH MAH GAH WHERE'S KAT?" She no less than flitted around the room, searching everywhere. Finally, she stopped in the middle of the room. "I KNEW SHE GAVE THAT TREE INDIGESTION!"

James cocked an eyebrow and looked at the elder man, confused. "Smee, did you understand anything that she just said?"

"Not a word, James."

"Oh, ok, good, then it's not just me."

Kayla fell to the ground, her legs folding beside her, and covered her face with her hands. "I just want to go home..." she mumbled.

Smee walked over to the distraught young woman and wrapped his arms around her. "Shh, deary, everything's going to be alright, I promise you. James here will figure this out, right James?"

The young man's eyes grew. _'What are you doing, promising her I'll fix everything? I can't do that! And why would I want to? She's a spoiled little...'_ At the moment, Kayla looked up at his, her lovely eyes rimmed red and filled with tears yet again. This time, however, they were filled with an agony unlike any other. He neared the girl, who curled more into Smee, obviously frightened of James.

"He won't hurt you, lovey," the old man reassured her.

Kayla stood shakily, bringing Smee with her. She looked James in the eyes, keeping a safe distance between them.

"I swear," whispered James, "that I will protect you with my life and help you find a way home."

The brunette smiled weakly and for the first time in his life, James wanted nothing more than to make someone else happy.

"Thank you, sir," Kayla said, her voice still thick with unshod tears.

"You may call me James, if it will put your mind better at ease. And what is your name?"

She warily studied him, then held out a small hand. "Kayla."

He gently grabbed her hand and bowed, kissing the top of it sweetly. "A beautiful name for a beautiful girl."

Kayla grinned and rolled her eyes. "You really know how to charm a girl, don't you?"

"Well, I pride myself on being charming."

"Ok, Prince Charming, may I please have some water and a safe place to sleep? I'm really tired and-"

James held up a hand. "Say no more. Smee, will you hand me one of my old shirts? A nice and worn one, if you please."

Smee tossed a pristine white shirt to James, who handed it to Kayla.

"Now, you change and we'll bring you some water."

The girl nodded and waited until the two men shut the door before she began to strip.

On the other side of the heavy wooden door, James and Smee were arguing.

"We must protect her, James. She's exhausted, she's alone, she's just a girl, for the Good Lord's sake!"

"But the men! She's too big of a distraction. If she was flat, heavy-set, or even the least bit unattractive, then I wouldn't worry, but she's not!"

"All the more reason we must keep her and take care of her."

"Smee, come on, you can't be serious."

"James, I raised you better than this. Your father would _not_ be proud. He would have taken her in without a second thought."

James paused, then nodded. "Fine, but only until we find out how to get her home."

Smee grinned, then left to get water.

The young captain knocked on the door, clearing his throat. "May I come in now?"

"Sure," was the muffled reply.

The second James opened the door, he wished he hadn't. Kayla was sitting in the large red velvet chair with her legs crossed, reading one of his books. This normally wouldn't be a problem, if she wasn't wearing James' shirt that went down to her mid-thigh and had ridden up to her upper thigh. She looked up from her book and smiled.

"Yes?"

"Um...I see you've found my father's sea journal."

Yes, it's incredibly fascinating. I didn't even know some of these islands existed. It says here that he went to Atlantis. It even has the coordinates! Oh, can we go? Please? I've always wanted to see Greece."

"I don't know, we haven't left Neverland since I was a baby."

"All the more reason we should go!"

"I'll think about it."

Kayla's face brightened immediately and she flew from the chair to James, throwing her arms around his neck. "Oh thank you, thank you, thank you!"

James hesitantly wrapped his arms around her waist. "A-alright then. I only said I'd think about it."

"Which is good enough for me!"

The captain's face was red as he relished in the young woman's embrace. "I hope you'll enjoy your stay on the Jolly Roger."

Kayla pulled away slightly, her arms still around his neck and his still around her waist. "Jolly Roger? What are you, Captain Hook?"

"Captain James Hook, at your service."

Her face turned pale. "H-H-Hook? What?"

"Yes, that's my name."

"Oh my..."

Kayla grew limp in his arms, her eyes rolling back.

James lifted her to the best of his ability carried her to the bed, gently pulling the silky covers over her shivering body.

_'This is going to be a long_ _trip.'_

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><p>Karma: Well, there you have it. Sorry I took so long. Christmas, New Year's, and school took up all my time. I'll try to make updates at least once a week. Feel free to yell at me in the reviews. Which reminds me...I expect as least 3 before I update. Diva Karma commands!<p>

Kuro: Karma! You're supposed the be nice to the readers!

Karma: But I _am_ being-

Kuro: Please, please, PLEASE review! We live on reviews!

Karma: Hey, you interrupted m-

Kuro: Love you all!


	4. Chapter 4: I AM NOT FAT!

Karma: OH MAH GAH! I took FOREVER to come back, but I'm BACK! I apologize for almost forgetting you guys but, thankfully, Kuro kept me on the straight and narrow.

Kuro: Yes, yes I did.

Karma: Ok, lemme answer some of y'all.

greenluvr14 - I know, I'm _so_ sorry that the chapters are so short. I'm going to try and make them longer, I promise. Also, thank you so much for soothing my fears about Kat and Kayla. I was _terrified_ that the girls were Mary Sues, but you seriously made me the happiest buscus in this world!

Hyper Sammie - Maaaaaaaaaybe...

Flaere - I love this story too! And again, I'll try and update as much as possible. Oh, and I like cheese too. Especially when it's cubed.

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><p>"<em>KAYLA MADE ME DO IT!<em>" screeched Kat as she sprang up from the bed. "Huh?" Upon observing her surroundings, she realized where she was...and where Kayla wasn't. "God dammit," she muttered, pulling her skirt back to it's original position. Kat stood, scratching her head absently. _'Hungry,'_ she thought, wandering out of the room. Suddenly, she was tackled by six very furry, very dirty boys.

"Tink! There you are! Why are you so big? Did you eat too much again?" they all asked simultaneously.

Kat tilted her head in confusion. "Wait, _Tink_? What in God's-DID YOU JUST CALL ME FAT?"

The boys shrank away in mild fear.

The smallest, a boy in a tiny bear suit, held up a miniature, tan hand. "P-please don't hurt us..."

The teen sighed in frustration. "I would never hurt a defenseless child," she replied, mentally scolding herself. _'Cue angelic choir, Saint Kat. Way to sound like a nun.'_ Bending to lift the now-sobbing boy, she sat him on her hip awkwardly. "Come on, kid, everything's going to be okay. I promise, I won't hurt you. Now, where's that mush-for-brains dumbnut what dropped me here?"

Another little boy, this one half Kat's size and wearing a black rabbit suit, stepped forward, a determined glare in his startlingly blue eyes. "Peter's out for the moment with Mory."

"Mory?"

"Look, I know it's been a long time since you last saw us and Mory was still a Nameless when you last met with the Lost Boys, but this is ridiculous. He's Peter's second-in-command," replied the boy. "I'm Curro, the third." He then pointed to the child on Kat's hip. "That's Nameless, the youngest."

The blonde raised an eyebrow. "Um, Nameless? Why doesn't he have a real name?"

"Come on, Tink, surely you remember. We don't get our Neverland names until we are old enough to be in our first pirate battle. Nameless won't get his name until he's shown himself capable."

She frowned, glancing at Nameless. "That's a little harsh, don't you think?"

"Harsh? Hardly!" snorted Curro. "For Never's sake, Tinkerbelle, you helped come up with the idea!"

"Tinkerbelle. You think I'm Tinkerbelle. Do I look like a fairy to you?" She planted her free hand on her remaining hip, glaring at Curro. As he opened his mouth to respond, she spoke first. "And I would _never_ suggest that little boys fight with pirates to gain a name. That's-that's...that's just _horrible_!"

The boy rolled his eyes, striding over and pulling Nameless from Kat's arms. "I understand that you've been away for a fairly long time, Tink, but that doesn't mean you get to be such a bit-"

"Hey look! Peter's back!" cried a young boy with an acne problem and a badger suit.

Said ginger strode into the great room, an over-confident grin on his face and a bundle of cloth in his arms. "Oh look, our resident fairy has emerged from her damp, dark cave."

"Ok, did you just call me a bat or a fairy?"

"If you don't know now, you never will. Anyway, I have a surprise."

Kat folded her arms and raised an eyebrow. "Why do I not trust you and this _surprise_ of yours?"

He laughed, handing the bundle to her. "Just shut up and open your surprise."

Rolling her eyes, the girl did as she was told, gasping at the bundle's contents. It was..._a baby._

"Where the **hell** did you get a baby?" she exclaimed, her eyes growing wider and wider by the second.

Peter chuckled. "How else, Tink? He fell out of his pram. Come on, you've always loved raising the boys. Besides, Nameless is going to be named soon. We always need a Nameless with us."

"But-but I can't raise a kid! Children are Kayla's thing; I'm more into animals. I can't even handle her little sisters! I can't take care of a _baby_!"

The boy patted her shoulder, grinning. "Then I'll get Kayla for you. Where is she?"

"I-" she started, catching herself and starting to hyperventilate. "Oh God, I have no idea. Her mom is going to _**kill** **me**_!"

The baby started to whimper, tiny tears falling down his cheeks. Sighing, Kat forced herself to calm down, trying to remember every trick that Kayla used to keep her siblings under control when they were little. Sure enough, the baby was soon quiet, now staring up at her. She smiled weakly, already exhausted.

"See? You're a natural!" exclaimed Peter, causing the baby to begin to cry again.

Kat groaned, walking back into the bedroom. "First, it's because I'm observant, not naturally talented. Second, I'm going to put the baby down. You wake him up again, and I'll murder you in your sleep."

True to her word, she threw one last glare over her shoulder and disappeared behind the furs, sleeping on the bed with the baby tucked safely in her arms in no time.

Peter chewed his lower lip in thought. "Tink's just getting weirder and weirder by the day."

A blond teenage boy with dark brown eyes appeared beside the boy leader, a hand on the redhead's shoulder. "You ok, boss?"

"Yeah," he said, nodding. "It's just...something happened to her, Mory. She's not the same Tink as before. She's much angrier."

Mory chuckled. "She always was a little firecracker, though."

"But she's a big firecracker now. It's like any second, she'll explode."

"Don't dwell on it, boss," sighed Mory. "Come on, it's our shift for patrol now."

Peter nodded, taking a deep breath. "Alright then, let's go."

When Kat finally awoke several hours later, Peter and his second-in-command were still out patrolling.

* * *

><p>Karma: There ya go, just enough to make y'all happy. That reminds us-<p>

Kuro: Do either of the girls seem Mary-Sueish? That's what scares us the most.

Karma: I mean, Kat's a little _too_ nice-

Kuro: And Kayla's a little _too_ spunky.

Karma: Just give us a real, true review. If you feel like you're flaming, just go ahead. I don't mind. I'd rather have an honest, yet heartbreaking review than a fake, sugar-coated one.

Kuro: Until then, BYE!


	5. Chapter 5: Somewhere Out There

Karma: OH MY GOD! I'm SOOOOO sorry I stopped writing! My year-long hiatus is OVER, baby, and I'm going to finish this thing.

Kuro: Yeah, she's a dumbass. But you're welcome, readers. I got her back on track!

Karma: And now, without further ado, chapter…what is it now, 5?

Kuro: Oh yeah, and we owe nothing, but a long chapter for your troubles.

Karma: Nothing!

* * *

><p>Kayla groaned as she sat up, rubbing her eyes. <em>'I hate the smell of varnish in the morning,'<em> she thought, getting up and pulling on the clothes that had been left for her on the side table. The clothes consisted of a large, off-white, obviously worn shirt that tied in the front and too large tan breeches, as well as an old pair of lady's slippers that could have once been black, but were now a faded grey. She grabbed the shirt from three days ago and ripped it to shreds, creating a belt of sorts and what would serve as a binder. As she wrapped her chest tightly, the young woman began to contemplate her situation.

It had been a few weeks since Kayla had last seen that crazy blonde of hers. In the days since her arrival, she had talked her way out of the captain's cabin and into a small closet that was converted into a bedroom for her use. She didn't mind, though. Kayla was never one for a big space. Glancing at the mirror she had stolen from Hook's cabin, she sighed. The once-full cheeks were sunken, and her brown eyes, of which she once had such pride in, were ringed with black. Her skin was sickly pale, and slightly yellowed. Her stomach curled in instead of slightly pushing out as it did before. Even the breasts she was so proud of were starting to become smaller. She couldn't help it that she wasn't hungry. Her mind was so worried for Kat, that the girl was incapable of doing much else other than sulk in her cabin. She herself only left said cabin every other day, and that was to curl up in Hook's mini-library and read. Well, no more! Starting today, she was going to work to become the best female pirate ever! Other than Anne Bonny and Mary Read, of course.

Tying her hair back with a piece of cloth she had ripped from an old shirt that shouldn't have been pushed her way in the first place, Kayla stepped out into the sun, smiling at all the pirates that stared at her in utter shock.

"We thought you'd never come out," Smee said finally, the first to get over the shock.

"Well, I have. I want to start working, Mr. Smee. I want to contribute to this vessel," she replied, her head held high with pride.

"Then you shall work," said a deep voice from the helm.

Kayla turned to settle her eyes on the beautiful captain, a bit shocked at his indifference.

"And what shall I do, Captain?" she asked loudly.

"You were never much of a beauty before," he chuckled, shaking his head and ignoring her question. Hook started down the stairs, stopping once he stood before her. "In fact, you were rather plain. But now, now you are much less than plain. You are…emaciated."

Her cheeks flared bright red with anger, and she wanted so badly to slap him.

"Sir, she is a lady," Smee dared to protest.

"An ugly one at that."

"I am not ugly!" she yelled, her hands on her hips. "I'm not gorgeous, and I'm proud of that, and I know that, despite what Kat insists, I'm not going to become a model any time soon. I'm happy with my plainness, and I'll be damned if I allow a rude moron like you make it out to be anything less that it really is."

Smee beamed with pride at her outburst, his happiness contrasting heavily with the fury of the pretty young captain.

"If you are going to demand the respect of a man, then you will be treated like one! Mr. David, Mr. Bell, toss this woman's bed overboard. She will sleep in a hammock like the lot of you all!" With a click of his heel, he turned and returned to the helm.

Kayla knew that she should be crying, begging for him to not make her sleep with the lecherous crew, but knew better. The crew was made up of generally good men, albeit thieves. Besides, weak as she was, she could hold her own. It couldn't be that hard to sneak a knife out of Hook's room, and even though she only went to one karate class, she knew how to look intimidating. Oh yes, she could handle herself. However, if he was going to try and piss her off, he was going to be disappointed.

Refusing to give him the satisfaction of seeing her angry, Kayla returned her attention to Smee and started to talk about the first things that came to mind. She didn't even know what she was saying, she just needed to talk, and somehow found herself leaning on the railing and staring out at the ocean as she spoke.

Eventually, out of the corner of her eye, she saw the captain call over the usual helmsman and make his way down the stairs. Hook didn't even bother to look up at her, and disappeared inside his cabin.

Finally able to breathe, Kayla bowed her head and touched the wood with her forehead. Smee set his hand on her shoulder and sighed.

"He's such a jerk," she whispered.

"I wish I could say it's because he's rarely around girls, but that's not true. We stop by at a port not too far away every now and then and he always stays the night at-"  
>"I don't need to know," she interrupted, looking back up and scratching her eyebrow.<p>

"But-"

"Don't. Need. To know."

"Sorry," the old man murmured, taking off his hat to wipe the sweat from his head with a square of yellowed fabric. "I just thought you should know that it's not normal that he's so rude to a lady."

"You forget, Smee," she laughed bitterly. "I'm no lady. In fact, I'm pretty sure he thinks I'm a man in women's clothing."

"What can I say? He's a bit of a brat, I'll admit that. Please, miss, just give him a chance. It's not his fault he's-"

"A flat-footed jerk? A snot-nosed loser? A-"

"Man who is capable of tossing you back to the savages and ensure your demise?"

"Exactly," she groaned, dropping to the ground and covering her face. "KILL ME. PLEASE."

"Stop being so over-dramatic," laughed a pirate that walked up behind Smee. Leaning on the railing beside Smee, he grinned down at her.

"I can't help it. I'm a drama queen. It's what I do," she said, standing and pushing her hair back to examine the pirate. He was tall, about Kat's height, and didn't look to bad. Obviously, like the rest of the pirates, he needed bath, but if his face was scrubbed, she was sure cute freckles would be sprinkled across his nose. He had longish red hair, and mocking hazel eyes. This pirate looked like a generally happy person, with laugh lines and all.

"Well, aren't you just a twerp?" she replied, crossing her arms. "What do you want?"

"Oh, to introduce myself, to talk about the captain, and to maybe even spend a little time with you alone," he answered, smirking perversely.

"I don't like you," she said bluntly, her eye twitching as he laughed loudly.

"Oh, you will. Just be patient."

"Miss, this is Philip Jacobs," said Smee, coming between them.

"Nice name. Too bad it doesn't suit you," the short young woman snorted.

"And what does suit me?" he asked.

She said nothing for a moment, then finally spoke. "You don't deserve to know."

Jacobs laughed heartily, then set a dirty hand on top of her head. "You're something else, Miss Kayla. I've never met a girl quite like you."

"I'm sure. Most girls these days tend to rely on their physical assets. I'm pretty plain, so I use my mind to stand out."

"You're not traditionally pretty, that's true," he said, nodding. "But with such a sharp tongue, one starts to forget."

"And such a tongue helps to forget her height," snickered Smee.

He barely even flinched when she spun and punched his arm, blushing madly.

A tall blonde young woman stood in the doorway of her room, holding a very awake baby in her arms. The green dress made of massive leaves that covered her body was stained with the fluids of the day, and she was obviously exhausted. Tapping her bare, dirty foot, her eyes finally caught sight of a redheaded male flying her way.

"Tink, we're back!" yelled the boy, landing in front of her. "Sorry we was gone all day. Did you have a nice time with the newest Nameless?"

"Yeah, I really enjoyed taking care of someone else's kid," she answered snarkily, rolling her eyes. "Look, I'm incredibly tired. Take the baby, I need a bath." Kat tried to hand him the baby, but Peter wouldn't take him. "Take him, Peter!"

"I'm not able to handle a baby!" he protested.

"Neither am I, but I've been raising him for the past few weeks while you've been "searching" for my best friend. Tell me, did Tiger Lily tell you what you need to know? Because you've been asking her for two weeks now!"

"I'm trying my best!" he yelled.

"Your best isn't enough, Peter," she said, backing up a bit. "I'll take care of the baby until he can walk his own. When he can, Kieran and I are leaving, and we'll find Kayla on our own."

"Kieran? Who's Kieran?" asked Peter, confused.

"I refuse to raise a child without a name, Peter. It just isn't right. He can't grow up being called 'Kid'."

"But-"

"No "buts", Peter. We're leaving, unless you bring Kayla to me before Kieran can walk."

Peter sighed, running a hand through his dirty hair. But he nodded and stepped around her, striding into her room.

Shaking her head, Kat kissed the baby's head and sat on the chair Peter had built her some days ago, bouncing the baby gently.

"Where the hell are you, Kayla?" she whispered, swallowing back the lump in her throat and trying not to cry.

* * *

><p>Karma: Well, there it is. The fifth chapter. How dramatic an ending.<p>

Kuro: For the record, this chapter actually suits us. We've been separated.

Karma: Too true. I moved away a few months ago, and we barely get to talk, much less see each other.

Kuro: It breaks both our hearts to be apart

Karma: And we really, really, _really_ miss each other

Kuro: So please, review

Karma: Help us get past this. We love you!

Kuro: Until next time!


	6. Chapter 6: Lust, Never Love

Karma: Dear me! I almost forgot about this bucket of sugar.

Kuro: The move really messed Kar up, and-

Karma: And now she's really back! I even have reminders on my phone now!

No Name - That's because it's not the real ending. I meant the end of the chapter.

NOW, BEGIN!

* * *

><p>Weeks continued to pass, and soon turned to months, and the two girls learned how to adapt to their new situations. Kat had become somewhat of a mother to the Lost Boys. She walked around the tree house, which she had learned to maneuver with practice, and held Kieran close at all times. He was usually on her hip, his hands dug deep into her tangled blonde hair, using the locks as a sort of handle. Kieran had become the apple of Kat's eye, and she loved him more than she thought she ever could. Peter had come accustomed to coming home from playing with the Lost Boys all over the island, to find a table full of food and the "Missus" giggling and tickling the small baby. But he still liked to try and get her to do things with him, just as them two, to try and stimulate Kat's sense of adventure.<p>

* * *

><p>"I am <em>not<em> going in there!" screeched Kat, shaking her head at Peter.

"Oh come on," he urged, standing in the boat and reaching out for her hand. "It'll be fun! I'll even hold on to you while we fly."

Kat warily peeked into the dark cave, screaming when she thought she saw something move. "_I'M NOT GOING IN THERE!"_

"Why not?" sighed Peter, rubbing his temple. Two months, and this girl was already getting on his last nerves.

"Because! It's dark, and malicious, and creepy, and I'm pretty sure that the damn Loch Ness Monster lives in there!"

"Loch Ness Monster?" he repeated, raising an eyebrow. "Are you serious?"

"Are you asking to get smacked with a paddle?" she shot back, looking at him with the most serious face she could muster. Peter's reaction was one of extraordinary amusement.

"You're scared of a cave you've never been in, because you think a pretend Scottish monster lives in there?"

"It's completely logical!" she yelled, clutching the paddle to her chest. "Please...I really don't want to go in there."

With a soft smile, Peter took her by the hand and helped her stand, wrapping his arm around her waist. "I promise, Kat. Nothing will happen to you. I'll be flying right next to you."

"But what if I fall?" she asked quietly, looking up at him with genuine fear in her eyes.

Peter shook his head, holding her close to his hard body. "You won't fall. I won't let you."

Her cheeks a bright, apple red, Kat nodded slowly, swallowing hard. "A-alright. I-I'll go...but I better not get eaten."

Laughing, Peter lifted himself into the air, her body pressed to his. "Please, Kat. If you got eaten, I'd never hear the end of it!" With that said, he shot into the cave, whooping with joy, and chuckling at Kat's terrified screams.

* * *

><p>Kayla, on the other hand, grew to become a somewhat respected crew member. She couldn't fight with a sword.<p>

* * *

><p>"THIS IS TOO FREAKING HEAVY!" she screamed, laying on the ground with a sliver of silver in her hand.<p>

"But...it's a starter sword," said Philip in disbelief, shaking his head and blinking. "I used that sword when I was eleven!"

"Well, I'm sorry, but I'm not good with heavy things."

"_It's not __heavy!"_

* * *

><p>She couldn't help with the sails.<p>

* * *

><p>"I am <em>not<em> going up there!" she yelled, clinging to the mast.

"Why not?" sighed Smee.

"Because I hate heights! What if I fall?"

"I'll catch-"

"DON'T LIE!"

* * *

><p>She couldn't even bring Hook his evening tea.<p>

* * *

><p>"If I go in there, he will die."<p>

"What?!" an exasperated Smee and Philip exclaimed.

"I hate that man! I will toss his stupid ass overboard, I swear to God."

* * *

><p>Finally, after many, many trials, Kayla did find her niche: as the ship's nurse.<p>

* * *

><p>"OW!" screeched Philip as the young woman finished stitching up his thigh. "I can't believe a woman is sewing my bare thi- damn! Careful!"<p>

"Maybe if you stop wiggling around like an idiot, I wouldn't mess up!" she countered, pouring a little more rum onto the wound. "Besides, the doctor's too drunk to see straight. Would you rather he sew you up and make you look like Frankenstein's monster?"

He said nothing, looking away and wincing every other second.

"That's what I thought." By now, she was finished sewing, and quickly wrapped his leg. Kayla giggled at Philip's expression as he limped away.

"Stop laughing!" he pouted, turning and leaning on the door frame. Running a hand through his red hair, the lanky male watched her put away the medical supplies, a strange expression on his face.

"What?" she said once she noticed he was staring at her.

"Nothing," he murmured, bowing his head and covering his face with his hair.

"Um...okay?" Kayla returned to her work, her back to him as she wrapped up the bandages and placed them into the jar. Suddenly, she felt a sudden closeness. Turning, she found herself face to face with the vibrant red headed man, and she gasped. "Philip! Wh-what are you-"

Setting his hands on either side of her, Philip boxed her in, and leaned down to brush his lips against hers.

With a squeak, Kayla set her hands on his chest and pushed. "What the hell are you doing? If Hook sees-"

"What does that matter?" he asked, tilting his head and nudging her nose with his.

Kayla closed her eyes, enjoying the closeness. "He...he wouldn't...he would tell Smee. I don't think Smee likes you."

"Then Mr. Smee will have to get over it," whispered the pirate, capturing her lips once more. This time, she kissed back.

* * *

><p>At the door stood a tall man with long curled hair the color of darkness. His forget-me-not blue eyes narrowed at the scene, and with a silent huff, spun on his heel and walked away. Mr. Smee walked up to him, opening his mouth to speak, but was instantly silenced by the flash of red in the middle of his captain's eye.<p>

"This isn't over yet," growled the man as he stormed into his cabin, sitting in his great chair and glaring at the fire. "I won't lose to that slimy crocodile without a fight."

* * *

><p>Karma: There's chapter 6! Do tell me what you think. I simply adore feedback.<p>

Kuro: _We_ simply adore feedback.

Karma: Yeah, yeah, _we._ Anyway, thanks for reading! Until next time, my little lovelies~


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